Still going

Well its been a few days now, still no scales. But i have been watching what i am doing and eating.

A quick rundown on the last few days goes like this:

8th Jan,   breakfast (Porridge with a fresh juice),     lunch  (thai chicken noodle soup + a few crackers),  Dinner  (Steamed Cod with sweet potato’s, carrots, baby corn and asparagus. Followed by some fresh fruit.)

9th Jan,   breakfast (Rice crispies + coffee),    lunch (Bowl of chicken soup),   Dinner (Pork fillet curry with brown rice. This was followed by a small piece of leftover homemade Christmas pudding with splenda custard)

Today 10th Jan,   breakfast (Rice crispies + coffee),   lunch (small bowl of brown rice with egg and a carrot and ginger juice),  later for dinner i am having  a bowl of homemade roasted butternut squash soup.

Well i have started to feel better with myself, but it is hard to not picking a snack of some unhealthy sort and munching away in a state of nirvana. I never really watched anything i ate before, i just ate it. Even if i wasn’t hungry, so most of it was pretty much out of boredom. I think when i was a smoker i would have a cigarette, and when i gave that up, it was replaced by food. Thinking about it just makes me feel mad with myself. Its just one bad habit after another. I hope that when i lose the weight i don’t take up something else that will kill me. Well at least i don’t drink, that’s one down.

My partner knows about the diet as we are doing it together. We gave up smoking together and she was a tower of strength, i am lucky to be with her, she means everything to me. The only thing i haven’t done is tell her about this blog. I enjoy keeping a diary where i will post my successes and failures. One day i will tell her but for now i just want it for myself.

For a start i have to admit to cheating myself already and its only the 5th day. Yesterday i had 4 squares of chocolate. I would normally have eaten the whole bar, i felt so much shame afterwards. I never went anywhere near the amount of calories i should have, but it just felt so wrong. I have so much chocolate left over from the Christmas period. I hate waste so if i cant have it what should i do with it? suggestions please.

Now because i am writing all this down, i can see what i am eating. Like the chocolate scenario if i eat it, then it gets recorded, i am hoping this will keep shaming me into stopping and to take notice of what i am putting inside myself.

This time i took 3 days away from writing, i think that is too much, mental note to self, “Write at least every couple of days, and if something bad happens like the chocolate saga, put it in instantly.”

Thanks to sweetenedcondensed for keeping me in check.